Love Won't Let Me Wait Page 18

  “I told you I’m not going to tell her that I know unless I decide to leave her.” He glanced over at me before turning his gaze to the dancer on stage.

  “Fuck it! Do whatever the fuck you want to man, it’s your life.” I shook my head. Josh didn’t respond. “Well is she still seeing that cat she was cheating with?” I couldn’t leave it alone. It was messing with me big time. I couldn’t accept that Josh was just sitting back and allowing her to screw him over like that.

  “Yep,” Josh answered with calm. “But let’s talk about something else.” I grunted and exhaled. “I want you and Toya or whoever you want to bring, to come down to my house next month. I want you to come hang out with me and Stacey; you know like we used to do back in the day.”

  “What! Hell no, I’m not coming. If you want to be a sucker that’s up to you, but I’m not going to let her play me out like that. Fuck that, shit!” Josh turned his chair to face me and looked me dead in the eyes.

  “Kalem, listen. Whatever your feelings are about Stacey and what happened that’s fine. But the fact of the matter is that’s nobody’s business but hers and mine. I’m the one that has to live with my decisions not you. I’m asking you as one of my best friends to be there for me. I need for you to be there for me, dog.” I thought about it for a second, then shook my head and grudgingly replied.

  “I’ll be there. I’m still not happy about it though. It’s some bullshit if you ask me.” Josh laughed.

  “Thanks, dog,” he returned, before turning to flirt with the girl onstage. I brewed over my drink.

  A couple of drinks later I was coming out of the restroom and ran smack dab into Michelle Timson. MBA student and intern at Intellica by day, Mahogany the strip club waitress by night. She seemed startled by our run in.

  “Excuse me, I’m sorry,” I offered.

  “It’s okay, I wasn’t paying attention.”

  “Do you work here?” I asked pretending not to recognize her. She frowned as if disappointed and nodded her head.

  “I used to up until last week.”

  “Really, what happened?”

  “I just finished up school and I’m supposed to be starting this new job pretty soon, so I figured it’s time to let this go and move on. Besides, I was just working here to pay my way through school; I’m not trying to make a career out of the Ladyfoxx.” As I extended my hand for her to shake I thought of Michelle being a real life stripper cliché.

  “My name is Kalem.” She laughed at me and took my hand.

  “Okay. My name is Michelle, but we both know we’ve met twice before so let’s stop trying to play it off.” I smiled at her, she smiled back.

  “So, are you here for the food or the dancing?” She gave me a sly look.

  “A little of both.” Interesting answer. She must have read my thoughts because she looked at me and laughed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not a lesbian if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just here to hang out.” I laughed with her.

  “I was just checking cause a lot of the females that work up in strip clubs like to swing the other way.”

  “I know. Believe me I know. I used to have to fight them off every day up in here.” I bet you did.

  “Well, if you’re here alone I could use some company.”

  “Aren’t your two friends going to be a little pissed if you abandon them to hang out with me?”

  “Oh, so you saw me down there?” She nodded.

  “Mhuh.” I smiled.

  “They won’t care, besides I prefer your company to theirs any day.” She seemed pleased by my response.

  “Well, in that case, yes I’m alone and it would be my pleasure to hang out with you.” I started to show her towards the booths on the back wall. She started walking and then came to an abrupt halt, turning to face me.

  “You aren’t married are you?” I chuckled.

  “No.” I held my hands out in front of her to show that my fingers were bare. She grabbed my hand and studied my ring finger closely. “What are you doing, ain’t no ring on there, baby.” She let go of my hand.

  “I can see that. I was checking to make sure there wasn’t a ring line left there from where the ring usually is. Married people take their rings off all the time, especially when they go to hang out and do dirt.” I burst out laughing, and shook my head in agreement.

  “Well, there’s no ring line there, because there is no ring.” She eyed me before continuing towards the booth in the back. I looked down at Josh and Raoul still sitting up front by the stage. Raoul saw me and nudged Josh. They both started pointing at me and nodding in admiration of Michelle. Josh started doing the played out raise the roof bit. I have got to get my boy caught up on the times.

  Michelle and I sat down and started talking. She was assertive, seemed to know what she wanted, and had no bones about letting you know. I was impressed. She gave it to me straight, no bullshit, just like I like it.

  “So, do you have a man or something?” She shook her head.

  “Nope, I don’t have time for that right now.”

  “Damn, no social life?”

  “Not exactly, I just don’t have a man.”

  “But you have a friend?”

  “Not right now.” She looked me in the eyes and asked. “Why, do you know somebody that I might be interested in meeting?” I nodded.

  “Yeah, I think I have someone I can hook you up with.”

  “Oh really?” I licked my lips and locked into her eyes.

  “Really. I have to warn you though; my man is the real deal. You think you’re ready for something like that?”

  “I think I can handle it,” she answered with confidence.

  “In that case yeah, I have somebody for you.”

  “When do I get to meet him?” I looked away and chuckled, then turned back to her with a straight face.

  “You just did, for the fourth time.” She smiled and nodded her head.

  “Okay, are you sure that you can hang?” I nodded with a hint of arrogance.

  “Oh, most def.”

  “Really?”

  “Really!” I asserted. She looked over at Josh and Raoul. “You want something to drink?”

  “About time you ask. That should have been the first thing you asked me.” I laughed. “I could be dying of thirst by now.”

  “I’m sorry; I was into our conversation and forgot my manners.”

  “It’s cool, I don’t want anything. At least not anything to drink.” Damn, she is a trip. She is coming at me hard. Michelle reached into her jeans pocket, pulled out a business card, flipped it over, wrote her cell phone number on the back and handed it to me across the table. I took it from her hand. “When are you going to call me?” I answered without hesitation.

  “Tonight.” She smiled and stood up.

  “Good answer. Don’t keep me up all night waiting either.” I chuckled and watched her walk towards the front of the Foxx. Damn, she is tight as hell. That ass should be framed like a Picasso and hung in a gallery somewhere. Homegirl had it going on. I tucked the card into my front shirt pocket and walked down to where Josh and Raoul were sitting. They both smiled at me as I approached. I slid into an open seat. Raoul had a silly smirk on his face.

  “Who was that?” He asked as soon as I was seated.

  “Just this female I met a while back.”

  “She was tight, I hope you got up on that,” Raoul added. Josh nodded in agreement.

  “She was fine as hell, King, that’s you all day.” I laughed at Josh. He was obviously buzzing. He didn’t recognize Michelle from our last visit here. Even though it was a while ago, Josh did spend considerably more time with her that night than I did. And, Michelle is definitely not the type of female you easily forget, at least not under normal circumstances. He had to be drunk.

  “Well, don’t sweat it, I handled my business.” They both smiled approval and turned back to the two dancers on the center stage.

  We were standing outside of the Foxx waiting for
a cab to pick Josh up. He was sloppy drunk and getting on my last nerve. Raoul wasn’t fairing much better. He kept stopping every woman that walked in or out of the Foxx, including those with male companions. He was just finishing up apologizing to about the tenth couple since we’d walked out there.

  “My bad, bro, I didn’t see you with her,” he repeatedly slurred. For some reason he refused to put his glasses on, and as I said before he can’t see a thing without them. He was oblivious to the fact that the women were being escorted by male companions; and his level of intoxication just made things worst.

  I was embarrassed by the way they were acting, but I reserved judgment. After all if not for my looming phone date with Michelle we would probably be a trio. Now that would be a pitiable sight. Three grown ass professional brothers acting like skid row winos. But it wouldn’t be the first time, probably not the last either.

  I grew tired of waiting and decided to load the both of them into my truck and assume the role of chauffeur. After fifteen frustrating minutes of trying to hoard them into the truck we finally pulled out of the parking lot. Five minutes into my journey with the both of them passed out in the back seat of my truck, I changed my mind and decided to head straight for my apartment. I was in no condition to be playing designated driver. They were going to have to fight it out for the guest bedroom and sofa.

  We arrived at my apartment where I tried unsuccessfully for ten minutes to wake them before giving up and heading upstairs. I walked into the kitchen and poured a glass of water. Then I walked upstairs and got a couple of Tylenol from the medicine cabinet. I swallowed them both with a gulp of water, finished off the glass and set it on the nightstand next to my bed.

  I pulled off my clothes, shirt first, then the shoes and slacks. I reached into the shirt pocket and grabbed Michelle’s business card, reached over and picked up the phone to dial her up. The message alert was on, so I decided to check my messages before calling Michelle. There was a message from Toya, wanting to know if I would be coming over. I glanced at the clock, it was after eleven. She’s probably asleep by now but I’ll call her anyway. If I don’t I’ll never hear the end of it. I dialed her number and let the phone ring four times. I was about to hang up when she answered, her voice heavy with sleep.

  “Hello,” she moaned.

  “Hey, shorty, are you asleep?”

  “Yeah, what time is it?” I leaned back against the headboard.

  “A little after eleven.”

  “I called you earlier.”

  “Yeah, I just got the message. I just got in from the Foxx with Josh and Raoul.

  “Oh, so that’s where you’ve been all night, I should have known that’s where you were. How long is Josh in town for?”

  “I think until tomorrow.”

  “Hmm,” Toya responded. “I take it I won’t be seeing you tonight?” I exhaled.

  “I can’t tonight. Josh and Raoul got drunk, and they’re both over here passed out.” Toya laughed.

  “That is a damn shame. Y’all are way too old to be acting like that.” I laughed.

  “Yeah, I know, but you know how we do.”

  “Mhuh.” She mumbled. “Well I need to talk to you. You have a minute or two?”

  “I thought you were sleeping.”

  “I was but I’m up now.”

  “Okay. What’s up?” After a brief paused Toya spoke.

  “Kalem, we’ve been spending a lot of time together these last couple of weeks.”

  “We always spend time together,” I said.

  “Yeah, but you don’t always spend the night over here laying up in my bed like you’ve been doing.”

  “Okay,” I conceded. Toya continued.

  “I want to know what your intentions are. I’m not trying to pressure you for anything; I realize you just broke up with Shannon. But I need to make sure that I’m not reading more into these last couple of weeks than I should be. Because I feel like we’re heading to another level right now. Do you agree?” I thought about it.

  “Actually I was thinking about these last couple of weeks myself,” I confessed.

  “And, what were you thinking?”

  “I honestly don’t know Toya. I mean, I know that I love you. And I’ve always thought about you and me being together, but I can’t honestly say that I’m completely over the whole thing with Shannon. I don’t know if I’ve closed that chapter of my life as yet.” Toya was silent.

  “Do you still love her?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “But you’re not sure?” I exhaled.

  “I really don’t know. It still bothers me sometimes. I think I need some kind of closure before I can move on.”

  “Kalem, I want us to be together. But I can’t just sit around and wait for you to decide whether you want to be with me or not. I can’t do that…not anymore. Either we are going to give us a try, or just leave things as they are and move on.” I was silent. It was inevitable that we would get to this point in our relationship. Toya was making a stand.

  I had in a sense been having my cake and eating it too. I’ve had the sanctuary offered by Toya’s friendship, and the physical satisfaction provided by whatever girl I was dating at the time. I’d become habituated to having her as a security blanket. Frankly I’m surprised Toya put up with it for this long. It’s about time that she asked me for a commitment.

  “You don’t have to give me answer right now. Think about it for a while okay,” she added.

  “Okay,” I agreed. “There is one thing I’m positive of.” I continued.

  “What’s that?

  “I have no doubt that I love you.” Toya’s silence rendered me insecure. Did she accept my statement as authentic or did she believe it to be an attempt to manipulate her and play on her emotions. My response however ill-timed was honest; I did love Toya. But I’d learned the hard way that sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. You can still get your heart torn out of your chest and handed to you on a platter. I wanted to be as vigilant as possible, for my protection as well as for Toya’s.

  “Let’s get together for lunch tomorrow,” she suggested. I glanced over at the clock. Right then my thoughts were devoted to other pursuits. Mainly, Michelle Timson.

  “Okay. Where do you want to meet?”

  “Manndal’s, at twelve.”

  “Cool,” I agreed, pressing for a hasty end to our conversation. “So I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

  “Yeah, tomorrow.” I started to hang up but Toya spoke.

  “Booby.”

  “What’s up?” I answered. She hesitated.

  “I love you.” Something about her tone struck me, sending a chill up my spine. There was a palpable contrast to any of the previous occasions in which she had relayed her feelings for me, communicating a stronger purpose and deeper meaning. I took the phone away from my ear and considered my response. After a second or two I put the phone back to my ear.

  “I love you too, Toya.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she answered.

  “Goodnight,” I returned and hung up the phone.

  I thought about our exchange of verbal affection. It was evident that Toya was looking at me in a different light, thinking beyond just friends. She was clear about that. I was confident that our conversation at lunch would be a continuance of her push for a verdict on the future course of our relationship. However, I was apprehensive about whether or not a romantic relationship with Toya was worth the gamble. We’d be taking a huge risk, possibly putting our friendship on the line in the event that things didn’t work out. Was I even in the right frame of mind to consider getting into something serious? I’d just broken up with Shannon a few weeks prior, and I was still not completely over it. And then not even an hour ago I was down at the Foxx with Michelle.

  I glanced down at Michelle’s business card. Nah, I’m not ready for a relationship right now. I can’t risk getting into a relationship with Toya before I’m absolutely ready to make a commitment free of
all this excess baggage I’m lugging around. Toya deserves one hundred percent of me, and right now I can’t give her that. I’d convinced myself it was the right thing to do, for her as well as for me. I’ll have to be honest with her, tell her how I feel…tomorrow.

  I picked up the phone and dialed up Michelle. Fifteen minutes later I was outside my apartment getting into a cab headed over to her place. I left Josh and Raoul asleep in the backseat of my truck still parked in the parking garage. They’ll be okay, besides under similar circumstances they would have done the same thing to me.

  When Michelle greeted me at the front door of her apartment, I immediately realized that the night would be if nothing else, interesting. She stood leaning on the door in a gold lace negligee designed like a cycling body suit. The gold color brought out her rich brown skin tone. I paused in the doorway and gave her a detailed once over. She stood there for a few seconds even striking a pose for me; then she reached out and pulled me into the apartment. I closed and locked the door behind us.

  The apartment was dark throughout except for the soft flickering candlelight coming from the bedroom. Michelle held my hand and led me into her den of pleasure. I offered no resistance. I sat on the edge of the bed as Michelle walked into the kitchen. I pulled off my shoes and slid up to the head of the bed. I was sitting there with my back pressed against the headboard when Michelle yelled from the kitchen.

  “Would you like something to drink?” I’d been taking a quick assessment of her bedroom. Seems she liked her place sparsely furnished just like I did. All she had in there was a dresser, a desk, and of course her bed.

  “No, thank you, I’m okay,” I yelled back. I heard the refrigerator door close and a few seconds later Michelle walked into the bedroom sipping on a glass of water. She set the glass on the dresser top and walked over to the closet. She pulled out a small docking station from the top shelf of the closet, walked over to the left side of the bed and set it on the desk. She then grabbed her phone and slid it into the docking port.

  “What kind of music do you like?” She asked while scrolling through her playlist.

  “Pretty much anything that sounds good.”