Love Won't Let Me Wait Read online

  I didn’t even bother to respond to her question. There was no point, I was dead meat. I bit down hard on my lip and looked straight ahead. She immediately began to read my fate.

  “I’m going to write you a ticket for not wearing your seat belt, the illegal u-turn, disobeying a traffic control device, and doing twenty-three miles over the speed limit. In addition, you were speeding in a construction zone; that’s going to double the amount of the speeding fine.”

  As she rattled off the parade of traffic fines my grasp of the steering wheel tightened. I was gripping the wheel so tight I was sure my hands would blister. I thought I heard her giggling as she wrote the tickets. Nah, it was just my imagination. My head was all messed up, the wheel was still turning but the hamster was dead. A chair is still a chair. If Luther’s ass was there in front of me right then I would shove that chair he was in my head singing about, right up his ass.

  “You have a nice day, Mr. Kingsley, and please, slow down.” I hate that have a nice day shit cops like to pull after they ruin your day with a ticket. I grunted and took my tickets like the angry little man I had at that point been reduced to.

  I slammed my Jeep into drive and sped out into traffic. I threw the tickets on the passenger side floor. I didn’t even look at them. I knew that there was at least $500 worth of fines riding shotgun with me. More importantly there was about nine points there as well. Add that to the four I already accumulated this year and that brought my grand total to thirteen. The state automatically suspends your license when you amass more than twelve points within a twelve-month period. Which means I would have to go to traffic school to avoid the points and keep my driving privileges. Like I don’t have anything better to do with my time and $300 of my money. Not to mention traffic school is so much fun.

  By the time I arrived at Shannon’s condo I had morphed into a frustrated madman. My cool, calm, and collected exterior had been totally demolished in less than three hours. It felt as if I was imploding.

  I parked my truck, and dragged myself up the stairs. Without thinking, I stuck my key in the lock and opened it. I had completely broken down at this point.

  The first thing I spotted was the bottle of wine on the table sitting between two glasses. I hustled over and poured myself a glass, guzzled it down and poured a second.

  Shannon stepped out of the bedroom. She smiled when she saw me. She must have been pleased to see that I had finally used the key she’d given me. The one I swore I would never think about using. Remember the last bastion of freedom thing, so much for that shit.

  “Hey, baby. You just got here?” Shannon greeted with a hug.

  “Yeah,” I answered as I continued drinking.

  “Oh, good. Are you ready to eat?” She asked all cheerful and giddy. She seemed oblivious to my sour mood. I sat down at the table.

  “I guess.”

  Shannon turned and walked into the kitchen. She returned from the kitchen carrying two plates of lasagna. She set one plate in front of me and placed the other on the table in front of the chair to my right.

  She walked back into the kitchen and returned carrying a bowl of fresh baked garlic bread and a glass of water. She placed the bowl of bread in the center of the table. I was busy pouring myself another glass of wine when she sat down next to me.

  “So, how has your day been?”

  “Fine,” I grunted. Shannon smiled at me and scooped up a fork full of lasagna. I continued sipping on my wine.

  “How did the meeting go?” I closed my eyes and wished for her to quit asking me questions. Was it not obvious that I didn’t feel like talking?

  “Like I expected. The proposal Perkins handed me this morning was asking for even more money. I don’t know who the hell they think they’re dealing with.” I grabbed my fork and took a bite of the lasagna.

  “So what are you going to do? Are you going to pay what they are asking?”

  “Hell no!” Shannon briefly studied me. Her scrutiny no doubt brought on by my eccentric behavior.

  “Well, isn’t it up to Calango? I mean it’s his money right. Why do you even care if he’s willing to spend the money they’re asking?” I glared at her.

  “I don’t care about the money, it’s the principle. I’m not going to let a sawed off fuck like Perkins get the best of me on this deal. I have a reputation to maintain. Do you think I got my clients to trust me to negotiate deals of this magnitude by letting pissants like Perkins outmaneuver me? Reputation is everything in this business, and your rep is only as good as your last deal. It’s not about the money, like you said its Calango’s money not mine. But the fact of the matter is I can’t afford to let Calango spend the type of money they’re asking. It wouldn’t be good for business. My business!” Shannon shrugged her shoulders and continued eating.

  “What the hell was that?” I snapped. Shannon looked up at me.

  “What was what?” She asked, befuddled by my tone.

  “The shrugging of the shoulders. What, you have a problem with something I said?” She placed her fork on the table next to her plate and stared at me across the table.

  “What is wrong with you? You have had an attitude ever since I called and asked you to come over here instead of me coming to your place. If you didn’t want to come, you should have just said so. I would have come over to your apartment later like we planned.” I let go a sarcastic laugh and swallowed the last of my wine.

  “That’s fucking amazing,” I mumbled. “You think I’m upset because you wanted me to come over here for lunch?” Shannon shook her head. Again I laughed.

  “Well, Kalem, talk to me, tell me what’s bothering you. You have to be able to communicate with me if we’re going to make this relationship work.” How fucking ironic. Ms. I’m pregnant but I’m not going to tell you is preaching to me about the importance of communication. Ain’t that a bitch!

  “That communication stuff works both ways you know.” Shannon seemed unsure of what I was getting at.

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “You don’t talk to me. You don’t tell me what’s going on with you,” I accused while glaring at her. Shannon looked away from me, out the window. “See, that’s what I’m talking about. Every time it comes down to us talking about what’s going on in your life you get all quiet and withdrawn or you cop out with that I’ll tell you later when the time is right bull. What the hell is that all about?” Shannon continued to stare out the window. She exhaled and turned towards me.

  “You’re upset because I don’t tell you every little thing that goes on with my family. That stuff has nothing to do with you or us,” Shannon answered pissing me off even more.

  “Who the hell said anything about your family? You think I care about what’s going on with your damn relatives in Baltimore. Fuck that! I’m talking about you and me, fuck your family!” Shannon stared at me with a look of shock on her face. I had never spoken to her in that tone in all the months that we had been dating. I didn’t care, I kept on ranting.

  “I don’t give a shit about them or anyone else’s family for that matter. Family ain’t shit. You know what family is all about? Family is an excuse to fuck each other over and expect forgiveness. Blood is thicker than water my ass.” I was incensed and taking out all of my frustration and anger on Shannon. Josh and Stacey, Perkins, the traffic tickets; I was dumping it all on her. I knew it was wrong but at that moment I didn’t give a shit, I just needed to vent. Shannon sat quietly staring at me in disbelief.

  “That’s why I’m not ever getting married,” I continued. “Fuck that. Why? So my wife can fuck out on me as soon as I have to go out of town on business for a few days. Hell no! I don’t need that shit.” I was ranting uncontrollably. I don’t need a wife, kids, in-laws, none of that shit.” I was definitely out of control and not giving a second thought to anything I was saying. I grabbed my glass and swallowed the dregs. When I glanced over at Shannon she was crying. She got up and walked slowly into the bedroom and climbed in the bed.
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  Her exit offered a brief moment of clarity and the recognition of my error in going to Shannon’s in this distorted psychological state. I stood up and glanced at Shannon curled up under the comforter. I could hear her sniffling and instinctively wanted to console her. I felt pressed under the guilt of having dumped my frustration on her and the hurt of watching her cry as a result. She had become an undeserving and expedient target for my exasperation with all of the other stuff going on outside of our relationship that had me pissed. Right then I concluded that the best thing for me to do would be to just leave. I sat back in my chair at the table, taking advantage of the solitude to calm down. After a few minutes I got up, walked into the bedroom, and leaned on the edge of the dresser.

  “Shannon.” No answer. “Shannon!” She sobbed a response.

  “What?”

  “I’m going to go home.” She peered out from under the comforter. Some more sniffling before she nodded her head and answered.

  “Okay.” I turned and started towards the door.

  “Look, I’m sorry for yelling at you. It’s been a trying day for me, I was just venting. But, I shouldn’t have taken my problems out on you.” Shannon didn’t respond. I stood in the doorway for a minute. “Well I’ll just talk to you later.” I walked out into the living room to the front door, shut and locked the door behind me, and headed down the stairs to my Jeep.

  I had been caught up in a tornado of emotions, beginning with my meeting with Perkins. The situation with Josh and Stacey sucked what little faith I had in women right out of me like an industrial strength Hoover vacuum.

  Had I put too much stock in their marriage, attempting to vicariously experience its success? I needed desperately for them to prove to me that it was possible. Two people could meet, fall in love, marry, beat the odds and make it work. Up until today their success had went a long way to restoring my seriously eroded faith in the institution. I was even envious of their success. What a charade. If that’s what marriage is all about, they can keep it. I don’t need that kind of stress in my life. Stacey fucked me all up with the quickness. Selfish bitch!

  My run in with Barney Fife’s Negro half-sister and the half a grand in traffic tickets that resulted just nudged me closer to the edge. An all of the liquor I had put down didn’t help my irrational state of mind any. I was hard pressed to recall a worst day in my relatively short lifetime. Well except for the time that I got that sexy, caramel-complexioned, Hooters girl with the Toni Braxton haircut to follow me back to my dorm room to hang out. When she departed the next morning she left me with two souvenirs. One was the sexy, lace, purple thong I had slowly removed from her perfectly proportioned hips and ass a few hours earlier, and the second was an acutely painful case of the clap.

  I got up that morning to take the ritualistic morning piss and discovered that someone had stolen my penis while I slept and replaced it with a flamethrower. I freaked out. I’d never had anything like that happen to me before. I was terrified that my dick was going to fall off or burst into flames. The messed up thing is I used a condom. Now you know that was some strong shit. The latex didn’t do a damn thing to protect a brother. The doctors took turns making fun of me at the emergency room. I can still hear them clowning me. The tall, preppy looking, blonde guy kept talking about how I must really be on fire to come to the ER for the clap. To make things worse that was the first female I had hooked up with since my arrival in Orlando. What a welcome.

  By the time I arrived back at my place I was physically and emotionally spent. I plopped down on the couch and stuck to the cushions like an unfortunate winged victim of that ugly brown flypaper my grandmother used to hang from the roof in her house back home in St. Thomas. I couldn’t move an inch. I guess liquor mortis was setting in. I lay my head back, flipped on the television and before I knew it I was counting the lines on Nia Long’s booty. I had stopped counting sheep years ago. Every now and then if I fell asleep thinking about something I would have a dream about it. I crossed my fingers and dozed off. I’m coming to you Nia, I’m coming.

  Chapter 9

  My morning had been completely unproductive. My mind was in overdrive, preoccupied with thoughts of Josh and Stacey, while struggling to suppress any reflective moments on how I had lost control with Shannon the previous afternoon. That was so unlike me, losing my shit like that.

  I swung around in my chair and took in the downtown skyline. I felt compelled to call Shannon and set things straight. Explain to her what kind of day yesterday was, she’ll understand. I’ll let her know it had nothing to do with her. As a matter-of-fact I’m going to call her right now. I turned my chair around and grabbed the phone. As I was beginning to dial Debbie buzzed in to inform me that I had a call from Raoul on line three. I picked up the line.

  “What’s up, dog?”

  “Wadup nigga?” I exhaled what stress I could.

  “Trying to get some work done.” I overheard a female voice in the background. “Where are you?”

  “I’m in the ride, coming from the crib.” I laughed.

  “Sounds like you had an interesting lunch. Who’s that in the background?”

  “The Blue Room the other night.” I was surprised by his answer.

  “The chick with the tight body and sorry ass?” Raoul snickered.

  “Yep yep,” he sang.

  “So, how was it this time?” Raoul answered in a slight whisper.

  “The same. It was just something to do, dog. Besides, she still finer than a mug.” I joined Raoul in laughter.

  “I have to see this chick; she must be fine as hell to make you come back to some sorry ass.” Raoul was quiet for a minute.

  “I tell you what, come down to the garage and see for yourself.”

  “You’re downstairs right now?”

  “Yep.”

  “I’ll be right there.” I hung up the phone and headed for the elevator. Debbie gave me a wicked where are you going look as I breezed by her desk. I smiled at her and kept on moving.

  When I stepped out of the elevator into the garage, I almost walked right into Raoul’s car parked in front of the door. Raoul opened the driver side door and jumped out. He walked around the front of the car and over to me. We gave each other pound and stepped away from the car off into the cut.

  “Tell chick to step out of the ride so I can check her out,” I told him. Raoul smiled and walked back to his car. He tapped on the window. After it opened, he said something to the young lady in the front seat and walked back over to me. I was getting ready to say something when the front door opened. I peered over Raoul’s shoulder to get a good view.

  She stepped out of Raoul’s Benz and the first thing I noticed was her smooth, chocolate flavored legs. I worked my way up over the black, leather, skirt hugging her full hips and rolled over her exposed washboard stomach. The beige, half-shirt she was wearing showed off her headlights and may I say they were well illuminated. Raoul didn’t lie she was perky as hell up there. Her face was thin with high cheekbones. She had neat micro-braids that came just above her shoulders. I was impressed. I was damn impressed.

  She walked over to me smiling uncomfortably. Probably curious as to why Raoul had requested she exit the car for a formal introduction. Raoul was viciously candid with his female friends regarding his lack of interest in a serious relationship. He preferred to keep things casual and made a point to head off any misconceptions regarding his intent. So I’m guessing she was aware that Raoul had no intention of making her his lady. She had to know it was just a booty call thing with him. Then again it wouldn’t be the first time a woman had interpreted the “I am not looking for a serious relationship” statement as a precursor to a trip down the aisle. I extended my hand to greet her and she reached out and shook it.

  “Hi, I’m Vanessa nice to meet you.”

  “Vanessa,” I repeated. “Nice to meet you I’m-”

  “This my nigga, King,” Raoul interrupted. I leered at him. Vanessa looked at me then back at Raoul then
me again.

  “Well, nice to meet you…King.” I laughed.

  “Same here,” I returned. She turned her gaze back to Raoul.

  “I’ll wait for you in the car.” Raoul nodded at her and she turned and started back to the car. As she walked away I caught a nice view of her backside and it was just as nice as her frontside. She climbed back in the car and I turned to Raoul, he had a stupid grin on his face.

  “So, what you think, dog?”

  “She’s tight, I’m impressed.” I glanced back at the car. “So are you going keep this one around for awhile or what?” Raoul’s expression changed. The smile disappeared.

  “Hell nah, nigga, you know I can’t be fucked up with no bitch that can’t fuck.” I snickered. Soon as I drop her ass off I’m in the wind.” I looked over Raoul’s shoulder at Vanessa waiting patiently in the front seat of his car.

  “I hear you, dog. You headed back to the office?”

  “Yeah, probably. I might head down to the Foxx for a minute. I told old girl I was going to take her to get something to eat. You wanna roll with us?”

  “I can’t, got a lot of work to do, I’m going to head back upstairs, besides I’m not trying to be a third wheel, and I’m not going to let you use me as an excuse to get rid of Vanessa.” Raoul let go a sly smirk.

  “Ah, nigga I don’t need your help,” he returned as he started towards his car. He leaned over and opened the door, then yelled back to me in the open doorway. “You want to hoop later?”

  “I don’t know, I’ll hit you up and let you know.” Raoul climbed into his car and rolled out of the garage. I turned and headed back into the elevator.

  When I got back upstairs I immediately dialed up Shannon, got her voicemail, and hung up. Shannon worked out of her condo as a transcriptionist. She did go into the office on occasion to pick up and drop off work, but mostly she spent her days at her condo. I decided to try her on her cell and again the call went straight to her voicemail, which probably meant it was turned off. I called her at the office and the receptionist who was familiar with me from previous calls informed me that Shannon had been there to drop off her work but had left about two minutes prior to my call. Again I tried her cell and again it went straight to the voicemail. I left a message for her to call me and hung up.